Films Français Remakes: Part Deux “The Bad & the Ugly”

Here is the second part of Films Français Remakes:


À Bout de Souffle (1960) —-> Breathless (1983) So bad might even be considered criminal despite having some French blood, actress Valerie Kaprinsky – who has kept a rather underground profile since the movie, most likely in fear of being guillotined by the Cinema Français elite. Godard was no doubt rolling around in his grave and calling for Justice.
The Godard Masterpiece
‘La Femme Nikita’ (1990) – Point of No Return (1993) Sharon Stone. No comment. Although the new series, Nikita is worth a watch! Maggie Q plays an excellent Nikita!
Diabolique (1955) – Diabolique (1996) H.G. Clouzet’s 1955 film noir thriller hailed by Time as the top of their Top 25 Horror Films. The concept has been remade multiple times – Fatal Attraction for example.
US Remake
Taxi (1998) —> Taxi New York (2004) – even casting Giselle and a few more legged supermodels as bandits to keep the male portion of the audience pre-occupied couldnt salvage this jammed-up runway roadkill wreck of a film.(see where Im going with the car theme).
Stick the original(s) – you’ve got all 4 french films to take you for a fun spin!
Wreck of a Remake
Le Retour de Martin Guerre (1982) —> Somersby (1993) Another wrongdoing to a french classic. It makes you want Richard Gere to give himself up in the first five minutes (and I’m being generous). And while we’re on that subject why not Jodie Foster’s character as well – they are all guilty of serious crime de film. I do believe thats two strikes for Mr. Gere.
The Crime de Film-Somersby

Les Visiteurs (1993)—> Just Visiting / Les Visiteurs En Amérique (2001) Here I am, like I said I would be, eating my words that I wrote when referring to American remakes where the leading actors are larger than life and reprising their role from the original. Just Visting really put a chink in Jean Reno’s chainmail- full stop.  Godfrey and his servant should have not even bothered with any more adventures after their french sequel. OKEH!
Arrow in the Butt Remake
Le Dîner de Cons (1998) – Dinner For Schmucks 2010 (SKIP IT- for further comments: see Breathless, Point of No Return and Taxi). But a remake that would give me the giggles would have the story line include french filmmakers having their own dinner game where they bring their own “american filmmaker” as a “guest”. Evil i know but oozing with potential.
Not even going to provide the American remakes, but if you want your own copy of the originals click here

Closing Comments: The lesson to be learned is that bigger is in this case never better. In fact just like food, more of it can result in disappointment, heartburn or in the worse of scenarios heart attack for the recipient. Why bother clogging up ones arteries with unnecessary junk when you have the original right there – all wrapped in a bow requiring only American versions of the ingredients and a translation.  Although everyone is entitled to their opinion, I dont see the point in re-making a film that has already been hailed as “puits fait” and dumb it down for a public that desperately needs to be fed something other than Hollywood Fastfood. Just because they eat it, doesn’t mean its good for them. Perhaps Hollywood needs the challenge, as with the junk they continue to churn out pretty soon all their people will be needing the brain version of the lap band.
For additional readin material on the subject:

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