April Showers Brings BADMINTON HORSE TRIALS (make way for flowers)!!!

As the April grey storm clouds take their leave and are replaced by the white fluffy and my garden seemingly overnight goes from looking like a barren waste land to  flowery madhouse; I wonder how sad life must be to be a flower with nothing to do but share a bed with dozens of other flowers.

 Screen Shot 2014-05-07 at 17.47.27

Now if I were a flower you can believe that I’d be thinking: “THIS WILL NOT DO. NOT AT ALL” and after such a proclamation,  I would pack up my leaves and roots, make my way up the M4 and plop myself into an advantageous spot within the Duke of Beaufort’s glorious park, most likely by jump 9abcde

Nothing beats spring in the British countryside, especially if that part of countryside is situated in Gloucestershire and happens to boast 29 or so jumps, and for 10 days is crawling with the worlds most elite eventers and their horses. (Also, it is preferable if the hunting season is finished for the year – nothing is more inconvenient to a flower than being trampled week after week by a pack of hounds.)

https://i2.wp.com/static.panoramio.com/photos/large/59403786.jpg

The life of an eventing flower is an exciting one as long as you ensure yourself as a VIP (Very Important Perennial), for woe the flower who ends up being a VUP (Very Unimportant Perennial) it only leads to enjoying the back ends’ of 100 or so riders and horses.

Screen Shot 2014-05-07 at 17.06.11

So for a seasoned eventing flower one only has to say the names:

William Fox-Pitt

Andrew Nicholson

Pippa Funnell

Kristina Cook

Mark Todd

Mary King

and life is rosy.

While I would miss my flowers after having waited 7 months to see them again,  I would never hold it against them if we would happen to run into one another out by the Lake or Hunstmans Close on May 10th.

If anything, I’d hope they’d saved me a spot!

Dressage Day 1 – May 8th
Dressage Day 2- May 9th
CROSS COUNTRY DAY!!!! – May 10th
SHOW-JUMPING!!-May 11th

Screen Shot 2014-05-08 at 14.33.14

YouTube

The Tatler List, or Why Not To Take Drugs and Write At The Same Time

Screen shot 2013-01-28 at 17.05.02

Titler, I mean, Tatler, published their “It List – The People Who Really Matter”, and I fear that someone(s) need a good hose down with ice cold water to bring them back to reality. Now Tatler is not the Economist or Foreign Affairs, and good thing to, for there there would be no fun involved when flipping through its glossy pages. With its juicy,sometimes, educational articles and the Bystander, one isn’t miffed that the latest news on North Korea’s nuclear progress has been omitted. However, it does have an obligation to its readers to have its stilettos somewhere on the ground, otherwise, we can all go read the Sun (I’d rather walk around London naked than read the latter).

Not to make too much of a meal with this so called “It List” just a handful points that need addressing:

1. Having the Queen numbered at #17
2. Having the Queen below Romeo & Victoria Beckham, Zac Goldsmith, The Delevinge’s, Cary Mulligan and husband – just to name 7 out of the 16.
3. Why is Romeo Beckham #1, when there is a spot at #568?
4. Where in the top 100 are the athletes that won Britain our biggest Olympic gold rush to date?  ( Zara Phillips, silver medalist, #184?)
5. Hasn’t Prince Harry been serving in Afghanistan – why is he at 54? Was his ex-girlfriend (Chelsy Davy #4?!?!) and supposed current (Cressida Bonas #27) partaking in enterprises with greater significance?

I do realise that this is tongue-in-check business but, after such a stunning 2012, where it seemed that the UK grew so much as a nation that Tatler could progress a bit, and take itself in this respect seriously. Creating the list should require more than just browsing through celebrity gossip website and publications, unless the magazine is searching for new readership. Expanding one’s niche to the demographic of those who enjoy the Daily Mail and Sun could end up with no parties to go to.

Tatler, you must be having the one, and only laugh – noone else is.